If I Die Young
by Miggy not Fax
Summary: "Hal?" Ben croaked, eyes hazy.  "Hal, I'm scared."  Songfic to If I Die Young by the Band Perry.  Contains other characters, but mostly focuses on Ben and Hal.


**If I die young**

**Bury me in satin**

**Lay me down on a bed of roses**

**Sink me in the river at dawn**

**Send me away with the words of a love song**

They had always tried so hard to protect him. Ben was too young to see the effects of war any more than he already had. Sure, Jimmy was younger than he was and Jimmy was a soldier, but Ben had been harnessed. He had watched his brother and father go off into battle on a regular basis. He had dealt with the guilt of Karen being harnessed and the sad, tortured look on Hal's face when he thought no one was looking.

But in the end it hadn't helped.

The Skitters had attacked the school again and Ben had been with Uncle Scott trying to find the frequency they were operating on, but the Skitters seemed to know how their system worked. They left it on a frequency just long enough to have Ben clutching his head in pain, but changed it too quickly for Uncle Scott to jam it. The Fighters were running out of bullets and a Mech slipped through their defenses and blasted the classroom they had been in. Uncle Scott had been standing near the door and was thrown across the room, but suffered nothing more than several bruises and burns. Ben had been directly in front of the window.

**Lord, make me a rainbow**

**I'll shine down on my mother**

**She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors**

**Life ain't always what you think it ought to be**

**She ain't even gray , but she buries her baby**

It had been Hal who reached his brother first. Blood trickled down his forehead and onto his cheek and his body was a mess of blood and burns.

"Oh my God," Hal whispered before trying to soothe his brother. "You're going to be okay Benny, okay? Just stay with me little brother."

"Hal?" Ben croaked, eyes hazy. "Hal, I'm scared."

"You're going to be okay," Hal said, but it was more like an order. "You have to be."

"Hal…" Ben had whispered, shaking hands trying to grab his brothers. "Hal, you gotta take care of Dad and Matt. They're going to need you."

"You can help me take care of them," Hal had said. He looked up and glanced around the room. "ANNE!" he yelled as loudly as he could. "Anne, he needs help!"

"Hal," Ben, said struggling to speak. "Hal, I'm not going to be okay. You promise me you'll take care of Dad and Matt." Hal didn't realize he was crying until he saw the tears hitting Ben's face.

"I will," Hal croaked.

"And one more thing," Ben whispered, eyelids drooping.

"Anything," Hal said tearfully to his brother.

"Kill those goddmned Skitters for me."

"I promise," Hal whispered.

**The sharp knife of a short life well**

**I've had just enough time**

Tom and Anne had run in to see Hal clutching his brother to his chest, openly sobbing.

"No," Tom said in a whisper. "_No, no, NO_!" Hal had begun CPR desperately and Anne went to help him.

"Tom," Anne had said gently a few minutes later as she stopped CPR. Hal buried his brother's face in his chest and hide his face in Ben's hair and started sobbing again. "Tom, he's gone."

"NO!" Tom cried. Tears had begun streaming down his face and he approached Hal and Ben, wrapping his arms around both of his sons. Weaver stood in the doorway.

"They left," he whispered to Anne. "They must have been trying to stop of from being about to jam them next time."

**And I'll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom**

**I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger**

They had found some good clean clothes for Ben to where during his funeral, a white shirt and khakis. Tom had taken a shovel and dug the grave, refusing to let anyone else help. Hal had sat with Matt, rocking him back in forth. Everyone knew that the teen was traumatized and the death of his brother had hit him harder than anything else. Tom had found him sleeping on Ben's cot one day, face stained with tears and Ben's favorite t-shirt clutched in his fist.

**Never known the lovin of a man **

**But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand, there's a **

**Boy here in town says he'll love me forever**

**Who would've thought that forever cold be severed by**

Ben had never really had much of a romantic relationship with anyone, just a girl that had been saved from the Skitters recently and understood his feelings about being a 'razorback'. He was content just having that and brotherly love with Hal and Matt. Matt looked up to him, and he and Hal had become much closer after the Skitter attack. Hal felt terrible that he had broken his promise to keep his brother safe.

**The sharp knife of a short life**

**Well I've had just enough time**

**So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls**

**What I never did is done**

Before the Skitters attacked, Ben had dreamed of going to college. He had wanted to grow up and have a stable career and a good family. After the Skitters there had still been a chance of that. Out of all the survivors, someone could have taught him how to do whatever he wanted to do, but Ben didn't have a future any more. He was dead and gone.

**A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar**

**There worth so much more after I'm a goner**

**And maybe then you'll listen to the words I've been singing**

**Funny when you're dead how people start listening**

Tom had begun to experiment with Ben's thoughts about the Skitters, clinging to the memories that were left of his middle son. Matt had asked Anne why he hadn't tried Ben's ideas until Ben couldn't see if they would work anymore.

"It's because Ben is gone now," Anne had said gently. "He wants to do what Ben didn't get the chance to do and have something left of him. Everything Ben did seems more important to everyone now."

**If I die young**

**Bury me in satin**

**Lay me down on a bed of roses**

**Sink me in the river, at dawn**

**Send me away with the words of a love song**

In the Second Massachusetts everyone knew they could die at any time so most of them had written letters, something for their loved ones to read if something ever happened to them. Ben's girlfriend, Dani, had come to Tom and his remaining sons and told them that Ben had told her where he had put his letters.

**Uh oh, uh oh**

**The ballad of a dove (uh oh)**

**Go with peace and love**

_Dear Hal,_

_I guess if you're reading this it means I'm gone. I don't know how it happened, but I know that there was nothing anyone could have done. I'm sorry that I took Karen and I hope you find her and can get the harness off of her. You deserve to be happy. I'm sorry for all the times we fought, and I hope you know I love you._

Dear Dad,

I know this is going to be hard for you; it would be hard for any parent. I hope it helps you to know though, I'm not scared. Granted, in the moment I may be scared out of my mind, but I know I'll be okay. Mom's watching out for me.

_Dear Matt,_

_Hey, little brother. You take care of yourself no matter what, okay? I love you and I always will. This is going to be hard, and I hate to see you hurting, but you're strong and you'll get through this._

**Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket**

**Save 'em for a time when you're really gonna need 'em**

_**(In all the letters) Please don't cry for me. Remember what Grandpa said to Matt at Grandma's funeral? It isn't about being sad that you lost them, it's being happy that they had such a great life and celebrating all the good times they had. I hope it can be something like that with me. **_

**The sharp knife of a short life**

**I've had just enough time**

_**It probably seems like I'm too young, but I've had enough time, really. I got to help in the war against Aliens and figured out a way that we could slow them down. That's enough for me and I hope I helped. Dani hears the Skitters on the radio too. I'm sorry that I kept it from you, but wouldn't let her tell anyone, but she's more than willing if you need someone to help Uncle Scott.**_

_Hal, there's no way that we're going to lose this thing with the Fighters we have, the fighters like you. I don't know if it will happen while you and Matt are still young or one of you guys have a son and he's leading the attack. Don't laugh, but I can see you as a father. You've got a great future and someday a really lucky girl is going to steal my big brother's heart. Thanks for always looking out for me big bro._

Please, Dad, no matter what you have to be there for Hal and Matt. I don't know what happened to me, but it could tear them to pieces. I hope I don't sound self-centered, but I don't want anything to happen to either of them and I want them to be happy.

_I hope you get to have a childhood, lil brother. I was lucky enough to be as old as I was when the attack came, but you're losing the most important part of growing up. Don't be afraid to be who you are and don't feel like you have to do something to help Dad. He'd appreciate it, but I bet he'd like it even more if he saw his little boy running around, playing games, and just being happy._

_**I'm going to miss you guys more than I can imagine. A world without my family just seems impossible. I love you and I'll tell Mom hi for you.**_

**So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls**

Thirty nine year old Hal Mason sat on his front porch smiling slightly as he watched his children through the window. His oldest, twelve year old Tom, sat watching his younger brother before the youngest barreled towards him, seized his hand then began tugging him out towards where they were playing. Tom laughed then followed the dirty blond boy out into the yard.

The middle boy, Isaiah who had been named after Hal's lovely wife's, Olivia who happened to be the older cousin of Dani, older brother, who had been crippled fighting Skitters. Isaiah inherited his father's dark eyes and his mother's fiery red hair and temper. He was like a nine year old energizer bunny with chubby cheeks.

Then there was little Ben. The seven year old looked just like his namesake had at seven and was impossible not to adore the moment you set eyes on him. He had a soft, mature side, enjoying good books and novels, and a wild side, loving sports and playing with his brothers.

Hal Mason was content with his life, three wonderful sons, a loving wife, and a good home. He gazed around the room, eyes lingering on two things, a wrinkled picture of himself, his father, mother and two brothers many years before, and a framed paper on his wall, the letter from his brother. He laid two calloused fingers on the frame gently.

"You were right, Ben," he whispered to the picture, eyes seeking his brother's. "I guess I am a pretty decent dad." He chuckled and glanced at the spot in the letter where his being a father was mentioned. "But you were always right. You were the smart one." He began to grin as he looked out the window and saw little Ben gesturing for him to come play.

And as Hal played with his boys and his wife came out to watch her boys, he could have sworn he saw Ben smiling at him from the edge of the woods before he disappeared. A warm breeze blew across his shoulders and it felt oddly like he was being hugged before he heard a quiet, familiar voice.

"You did good, Hal. You did real good."


End file.
